This is the first day of my life, that I have ever spent without you, I still hope it might not be true, cos I don`t know what the fuck I’m gonna do. But the first sight of my father eyes reaffirms the fact, I have to somehow process that you are never coming back. I`ve dreaded this happening my whole life, just 10 hours ago I kissed your cheek and said goodnight. I think of your eyes, closed now forever, finally free from the pain you are at rest. While all of us around you fall to pieces and I try to stop my heart from falling out of my chest. I cover my face, empty my lungs, deep down I know it`s just begun. Stunned by the pain, I clutch my heart and shut my eyes. I think I’m still breathing but I don’t feel alive.